Untitled I

As I wallow in the repetition of so called “life” and it’s reality

I grow familiar with the facade of people and their tendencies

To lure you in with lies and false promises of their imagination

Which keeps me second knowing without the guessing or hesitation

People will get you caught up in their rapture of muddy waters and storms

The same ones you sympathized with are the exact same causing harm

Pain and disappointment usually comes from the ones you thought you could trust

And the ones that claim they love you are really seeking after lust...

Whether it is the lust for the things of the world, or lusting after you

All lust soon leads to sin, so isolated is where I stay and waiting for love to prove itself is what I do

It is hard to maintain when mankind is aware that you are different and strong

The trials and suffering that come with the package tend to prolong

Still looking for love in all of the wrong places

Same drama, same circles, just different faces

Love’s features come in variety but the characteristics are the same

The everlasting void and scars seem to consider me a familiar domain

I strive for a good life and I practice truth and loyalty

I work hard for my respect, no one relates to the struggle of being me.

I am taken for granted consistently by my closest surroundings

Can never fly free from the ones that try to hold me down to clip my wings

Sometimes I feel trapped in this life I didn’t ask for

I try to make the best of it, but my happiness is constantly ignored

Anytime I need a break or want space, that’s when the weight becomes more intense

I’m starting to feel like the peace of mind I request is irrelevant

Every time I try to build solid relationships with other beings

I always end up in situations with no meaning

No substance to motivate me, no influence to admire

Can’t call on one person to look up to or help take me higher

It hurts so much to feel as alone as I do

It has been so long that I have only had myself to turn to

My mates always end up disabling me while my female friends hold crooked emotions at heart

I have had to stand on my own when it comes to what I stand for and who I am from the start

No one understands me, and some hate that they cannot figure it out

As transparent as my truth is, someone is always there trying to challenge me with doubt

There is not ONE soul in this world that I owe or fear to give reason to speak double sided

But the same ones that want to put me in a basket with liars are the same ones that say I am the one they confide in!!!

I don’t have time for the games that are played in this short term life we all lead

Yet my heart has caused the many marks on my hand from the teeth of the mouths I feed

Tired of putting myself last and turning cheeks and leaves

I rebuke every being the enemy uses in my life! It’s time to armor up and make them flea

Separate from my present and close chapters of my past

Let the Most High ordain my future and make sure my endurance continues to last

I have a race to run and if it is alone then so be it

I’m past done with settling for less than what my Creator sees fit

This day marks a new chapter and my weary mind, heart and spirit is fed up

Playing passive and giving chances to those that don’t deserve them is over... either put up, or shut up!

My strength has to be exposed in more ways than one

The count down is here so I wish preparation for the weak because 3, 2, 1... I’m done!

Done with being the one to hold everybody’s hand

I’m always the one expected to do past what I can

Lending time, money and wisdom and keeping my door and heart open

Just for it all to result in distrust and disappointment again and again

The saga would continue but it’s already ran too long

I have to put a stop to these crippling factors in my life, the thrill is past gone

God grant me a fresh anointing and armor me with Your words and salvation

I am aware of my power that You grant me through Your Holy Spirit and preparation

Since corrupt mouths speak against me and eyes want to watch, then I will give them a show

The grand finale is here and now is the time to prove how Water can truly flow.

Untitled II

My wounded heart came across a pleasant surprise

I could see the sun’s light when I gazed into his eyes

His words flowed on sweet currents like sugar water in my cup

Thoughts running through the membrane of sensual things going the opposite of up

In the time prior I was lost in a phase filled with pain

My heart grew cold, my emotions stood bare in the midst of pouring rain

I felt I had lost in the battle of love once again with no intentions to try again

I was ready for my existence to fade away from the acknowledgment of all men 

My scars ran deep as my self esteem grew shallow

Daily greetings of pain that ran deep to the bone marrow

Thinking the one for me existed became a thought of the past

Putting trust into fleshly beings became a faded memory fast

As soon as loneliness became my consistent company keeper

There he was, waiting in my future path encouraging me to dig deeper

The windows to his soul revealed true love as well as pain that he wanted to relieve

A new chapter of balance and hope for redemption is what we began to conceive

They say love conquers all and that time heals everything

So I decided to conquer healing by taking my time to develop love with this being

I was scared of heights, but with him I have no fear of flying

I had been hurt for so long, but his touch alone keeps my heart from dying

Every moment we share feels like a cool summer breeze

Blowing softly through the beauty of weeping willow trees

The balance of nature’s elements are always in the air

It is confirmed through our movement and through every single stare

His heart beat is strong and consistent as he lays to rest

My mind is at peace as I lay to listen through his chest

The mornings greet me with his smooth tone as sun rays embrace his dark complexion

I take it all in with exhales of deep breathes and thoughts of valuable lessons

Learning the importance of patience and enjoying the moments of laughter

Overstanding that simplicity and spirituality holds heavy power in this chapter

I thank the Most High for every blessed second in the midst of this man

This time around I will let God order my steps to avoid self destruction in the midst of His ordained plan