His Love Is Blind

Love is blind...

It will lead you to perceptions of every kind

It will woo you, then abuse you

It will fool you, and then consume you

I thought love was mine

Love’s actions grew painful over time

Now I am trapped in a cycle of disfunction and captivity

Realizing that the love I once felt was sent to me was never really meant to be

I use to believe that man’s love was real

Until I ended up with the worst aches a heart could feel

Trying to prove love to the one that didn’t love himself

I never thought to take it literally when he said he “loved me to death”

He would rather try to kill my spirit than to face reality

Misusing and false illusions thrown at my strong personality

Welcoming chaos and confusion into my realm of peace

Bringing baggage to weigh my small shoulders, and the pounds never seemed to cease

My girlfriend said she smiles everyday and wakes up to breakfast in bed

I told her my love has other plans for me girl, I get a fresh dose of abuse instead

Verbal strong enough to drive any woman cold

My wet pillow is becoming too sobbed to hold

When he is feeling like being extra special he surprises me with more

There’s always the physical scars of love that leave me bruised and sore

See his love means possession since no one really loved him fair

So now I have stepped in to his after-wind, every breath for me is bitter air

I have been threatened, betrayed, and smothered by his love

I lost my appetite for it a long time ago... the only thing I crave is in Heaven above

Love killed my sense of being... it killed my passion and affection

The day I was accused of adultery was the day I lost my connection

I was stripped down and treated like a whore behind the accusation

I felt as low as a female dog for the first time after that situation

Life became complicated and I shut down in many ways

I regret the day love entered into my life and promised that it would stay

My self worth has been abandoned due to sticking by love’s side

I have run out of patience with all of the false promises love has tried...

Never intended to keep but just to string me along with empty words

Every line written in love’s contradicting book has been heard

I hear “I’m sorry” just as much as “I love you”

I start to wonder what is really true?

Is the true you the action you performed that you live to regret?

Or is love really here and I just haven’t met it yet?

Would true love cause this much pain and just as many tears?

Am I suppose to look forward to love making me regret my life over the years?

This love is a new love that doesn’t have a relative plea

If my mate is willing to tell me he hates me than where can the love be?

Is it all in the things that I am able to do?

Or is it in the ability to take credit in the fact of having a woman of truth?

True to God and myself makes it easy to be honest in the world

But love feels the need to treat me as a little girl

Even though I’m the same one that takes care of myself

Because my love is inconsistent so I can’t rely on his help 

Yet this love doesn’t trust my word or what I stand for

Despite the fact that I teach him how to be a real man I still get treated like a whore

Even after my thrill for love was gone I still remained true...

To my relationship, never cheated or even flirt with anyone outside of you

My heart has been broken too many times due to love’s thoughts of me

All of them caused by the demons that play with my love and his insecurity

I’ve grown tired of settling and being made to feel like a fool

Tired of unnecessary lies and lust and being used like a tool

Love can’t possibly love me since he was never taught what real love is

My love is just scared to lose the realest answer to his quiz

He has no control over life or mind so how can I trust him to be the head over me?

When I look at love I’m suppose to see God but a lost angry soul is all I see

Love wonders why I’ve grown cold and don’t share all my thoughts

But whether it’s told, or I feel it’s safer to hold some form of abuse is what’s brought

Love and I are not on the same page and have no understanding toward one another

I am tormented by his ways and I no longer hope or pray to take it a step further

God doesn’t send love that causes harm or hurt

God wouldn’t balance me off with someone who easily makes me feel lower than dirt

I have done all that I can and beyond what I should

But my love is and never has been worthy of all my good

I have turned as many cheeks as I have ever done before

But my love wants to drain me dry... he just asks for more and more

I have to escape love before it kills me

I’m already dead inside, I’m buried alive is what he can’t see

I need to get some relief because the pain in my heart fearfully severe

I have to rise above the situation that is beneath me, I’ve already cried too many tears

My eyes bleed rivers of prayers that I pray flow to the Most High

When love sows evil seeds against me it reaps because when I cry, God cries

I was not raised to be weak, or to struggle due to a man

Love will play games with your mind in an attempt to convince you you cannot stand

But when I was found by myself I stood strong and that is how I will remain

Love can’t afford to live here anymore and my health can’t afford the pain

I have reached an all time low dealing with the progress in my life

That’s what happened when I decided to put my love first and became his wife

Fairy tales soon became nightmares and love and me no longer see eye to eye

I decided to put up the childish things of the world while he still battles inside

I decided to make a stable plan for my future while my love still tussles with uncertainty

Of knowing who he is, what he stands for, or even what he wants to be

Unsure of how to be a real man and still running from his call

If I could only get back the happiness love stole from me, I would trade it all

I cannot be expected to represent a last name that has not proven itself to me

My love is lost in the ways of the world, dark tunnels lead him down misguided paths without a means to see

He has no sense of self and revokes every source education

Self discipline is lacking right along with motivation

My love is unique and most definitely one of a kind

What makes my love stand out from the rest is simple... his love is blind