Stone Cold Soul

My heart is bleeding cold tears 

So many types of pain I’ve tried to mend over the years

From man to man I am left with disappointment

The only thing that keeps me balanced is the reminder that I am anointed

Trials and tribulations in my path day by day

Every time I need to focus the closest to me let the devil have his way

By trying to steal my joy and intruding on my peace

It is a struggle just to be happy, all of the noise just won’t cease

I want to be left alone to have time with my thoughts and God’s presence

It seems as though that is too much to ask because people use me as reverence

My name is called on all day long and I have always had to be the one with a solution

Too many burdens upon my shoulders, feels like I need to admitted to a mental institution

God meant for marriage to be an equal partnership so why do I feel like a slave?

Trapped in the very walls I built for myself and being judged on how I behave

My husband can’t understand me and disregards the fact that I mean well

We are not equally yolked and his angry lashes feel like flames from hell

I will not die without reaching my goals and I will not resign until my purpose is met

I am focused on Gods face and His faith in me, my race has already been set

I run on empty most days because man has run out of gas for me

I see the worldly desire in their eyes so I flea from the things that I no longer want to be

I would rather live my life alone than to live a life forced into sin

My mate has no desire to seek control of the demons that live within

He won’t open up nor reach deep enough to see

The reflection of God and his full capability

I tried to hear out for God’s voice on choosing my mate

I just hope I didn’t get in the way of things when God was planning my fate

I feel like my efforts to get us on common ground always end up ignored

Sometimes it leads me to think separation is the only way to settle the score

Two separate souls with two totally different mentalities

Unaware of where our paths will lead and aware of two versions of reality

I hope that one day I will find understanding and a way to heal

In this phase of life’s cycle I just feel abandoned praying for a way to deal

Suppressing tension daily and turning one cheek after the other

Yet taking verbal abuse from ignorant mouths and my significant other

I am too strong to settle and too aware of people to be fooled

Trying to let God work a plan on my behalf because the heat in my life needs to be cooled

I rely on my prayers and faith to reach my desired goals

Depending on Gods word and comforting arms to warm my stone cold soul